Self-awareness is the first step to image improvement. I talk a lot about “blind spots” with clients and groups. We all have blind spots – some outdated thing we wear or a word we mispronounce or some goofy way we act. If we could see our everyday selves on a reality show, we’d take immediate steps to fix these mistakes. But why hasn’t someone said anything? Well, our loved ones and friends may have tried at some time or another – and then seeing our reaction, quickly knew better. Every boyfriend and husband knows the right answer to “does this make me look fat.” Most acquaintances are too polite to comment on personal issues, even if we end up making a fool of ourselves. If my zipper’s open, please give me a sign! Something between my teeth? Quick! Let me know! It took my husband 7 years of marriage to tell me that I scrape my teeth on my fork when I eat, creating an annoying sound. I was horrified to finally learn of my etiquette faux pas – major blind spot!
The rubber really hits the road when it’s time for our job evaluation. Too often managers will give us feedback on our job performance, but are unwilling to touch our personal image issues. It’s especially tough for men evaluating their female subordinates. They usually don’t want to go anywhere near wardrobe or grooming topics – it’s uncomfortable at best and at worst can have a whiff of sexual harassment. So, how are we going to get any real feedback? Especially on those image blind spots that could be doing us serious career damage? Where can we get an objective opinion that can help us see our blind spots? Here are some ideas:
- Recruit a mentor unafraid to discuss image. So everyone needs mentors in their professional life and hopefully you are on this already. Someone that you admire professionally that’s not directly in your chain of command might be a good person to ask about how you come off – image wise. Be candid about wanting to become more self-aware.
- Mirror, mirror on the wall. Really! I’m talking about an actual full-length mirror in your house. Ideally, locate the mirror close to your bathroom and closet, so you can check your look (front, back and sides) every morning before leaving for work. Do you look like the professional you need to be to gain respect today? Change what isn’t working and go forth!
- Pay someone. OK, this one’s really self-serving, but that’s the role I play for many of my clients. An image professional is always objective, is not emotionally attached and will give you the feedback and constructive advice that you may otherwise never hear. I’ve met with some clients for just a short session and been able to pinpoint serious image issues that they could easily fix.